A mock apple pie using Ritz crackers instead of apples, it's not right. But I wanted to create something worse, something wrong, not a mock apple pie but a mockery of apple pie.
My burlesque begins with a box or Ritz crackers bought at Target at the height of apple season. Sorry local farmers, my money went to Nabisco, a big-agra company dedicated to making the world obese, diabetic and in love with US Weekly.
I printed a recipe from the Kraft Korporate website and headed for the Park Slope Food Co-op, snickering as I selected the organic butter and free-trade cinnamon that I would later defile with crackers that lists soy lecithin as an ingredient. Of course I made the crust myself. Oh, the farce!
It didn't take long before I had my travesty ready for the oven. While it baked, I drew moustaches on pictures of Julia Child. When it emerged, it looked exactly like an apple pie, but I knew the rude lampoon that lurked beneath a light and flaky crust.
The best thing to do with a culinary grotesquery such as this is to smash it in the face of a starving Ethiopian. Lacking anyone fitting that description, I decided to feed it to dinner guests. By coincidence, Jim, Leslie and little Nicholas arrived at our place with a Sara Lee apple pie. The Good American Wife planned the evening as a side-by-side taste test for organic versus supermarket meat and poultry so I took the opportunity to add a dessert course.
Maybe I got the recipe wrong, but it didn't taste like apple pie. It was super sweet and kind of lemony. Not bad in it own way, but a complete failure as an apple pie. Let me put it this way - the leftover Sara Lee pie was all gone by the next day. Mine is still in the refrigerator.
You can find out more about the orgins of Mock Apple Pie here.
Mock Apple Pie from the Kraft Foods website
pastry for 2-crust 9-inch pie
36 RITZ Crackers, coarsely broken (about 1-3/4 cups crumbs)
2 cups sugar
2 tsp. cream of tartar
Grated peel of 1 lemon
2 Tbsp. lemon juice
2 Tbsp. butter or margarine
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
PREHEAT oven to 425. Roll out pie pastry and place in a 9-inch pie plate. Place cracker crumbs in crust, set aside.
MIX sugar and cream of tartar in medium saucepan. Gradually stir in 1-3/4 cups water until well blended. Bring to boil on high heat. Reduce heat to low; simmer 15 minutes. Add lemon peel and juice; cool. Pour syrup over cracker crumbs. Dot with butter; sprinkle with cinnamon. Roll out remaining pastry; place over pie. Trim; seal and flute edges. Slit top crust to allow steam to escape.
BAKE 30 to 35 minutes or until crust is crisp and golden. Cool completely.
7 comments:
When I first started reading I figured the crackers would be used somehow to make crust, but from the picture it looks like they were part of the pie filling. Me confused. Just out of curiosity, what was the recipe?
Oops! I forgot to post the recipe. I'll repost.
Sounds utterly bizarre. In any event, I love your ongoing efforts to stick it to the Park Slope Food Coop. Hee!
I made a mock apple pie many years back to see if it would taste like the real deal - and I seem to recall mine being very lemony as well. Sure, you add some lemon juice to apples in pie so they don't turn brown, and to cut the sweetness, but I don't see how lemon and cinnamon is supposed to replicate the flavor of apples.
Ha. Love it. Wondering why a "mock" apple pie would ever be necessary? Apple allergies? Something to eat at a flag burning party? Evil for the sake of evil?
Wendy-Aw, we love our Food Coop! We just like to poke fun every now and then. Helps make the over earnest-ness go down more easily.
Lauren-Seriously! I was surprised they didn't require more pie spices, like nutmeg.
St.Tigerlily-I'm of the opinion that the only reason Mock Apple Pie was invented was to keep people fat and voting Republican.
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