Pantry Raid for Elizabeth

Elizabeth and her cute husband. They now live in Norway. I tell you, this girl is up for anything. You can read about her adventures on her blog, Striped Socks and Skinny Jeans.

I first met Elizabeth when we were both new to New York City. I had a couple of months in the city on her, which meant that I knew ordering a "regular" coffee meant you get a caffeinated one with milk and sugar. It also meant I could laugh condescendingly at her when she asked me what a Knish was and pronounced it like "know." Sure, I said it the exact way a few days before she did, but in New York you're only a newcomer until the next one comes along. And until you realize you shouldn't wear a belt with jeans.

We were introduced via my former sister-in-law, a woman I have about as much in common with as Golda Meir does Paris Hilton. (FYI I'm Golda in this scenario. I hope this turns you on, Fred.) I was weary about meeting her. I didn't really need a friend just like my sister-in-law. I thought, OK, just be nice. Then she'll leave. And that will be that.

And that, indeed, was that. For 13 years and counting. Turns out Elizabeth and I hit if off quite well. She was nothing like the SIL, except for being adorably Southern. And while we are not best friends, we are consistent ones. I went her rooftop parties on 8th Street and helped throw her 30th birthday party. She would always be available for coffee or to show up at a dank, moldy black box theater to watch me perform inwardly cringy improv comedy.

This is what's truly amazing about Elizabeth. She always shows up. Always. A near impossible task to ask of most New Yorkers. We're crazy at work. We've got a ton of parties to go to. Our new boyfriend is performing off-off-off-off--off Broadway and we've got to stage manage the show. But Elizabeth manages to handle all of these things and still make an appearance. Not only that, she's always the most charming guest, making you feel like she'd rather be no where else than at your second cousin's birthday party in Harlem.

Recently Elizabeth asked me to post about what I keep in my cupboards for last minute baking. So in the spirit of her spirit, I'm going to show up. Feel free to chime in with your own staples. After all, Elizabeth loves a party.

Here is what is in my pantry at all times for baking:

All-Purpose Flour
White Sugar
Brown Sugar-always light and usually dark
Crisco (vegetable shortening)
Molasses
Oatmeal (usually the quick cook kind)
Baking Powder and Soda
Salt
Assorted baking spices-nutmeg, cinnamon (with a recent exception), ground cardamom (wonderful when added to fruit for pies, cobblers, crumbles, etc.), all spice, ground cloves, ground ginger
Vegetable Oil
Unsweetened Cocoa
Baking Chocolate
NOTE: I only buy chocolate chips on a need-to-use basis, otherwise I'd be constantly throwing sweaty handfuls in my mouth on a need-to-eat basis.
Cooking Spray
Honey
Maple Syrup

And in my refrigerator:
Eggs
Butter-ESSENTIAL
Milk (most recipes call for whole, but I always use 1%)


In my freezer:
Frozen fruit in the winter for last minute crumbles and cobblers.

It's going to be a cold winter

ME: I've been getting a lot of compliments on my looks lately.

FRED: Really? Like what?
NOTE: He sounds genuinely surprised someone would compliment my looks. Even though he asked me to marry him, and I assume this means he finds me attractive.

ME: People ask me how old I am and when I tell them, they can't believe it. They say I look younger.

FRED: (smirks) What-are you telling them you're 50?

(pause)

ME: You're not getting laid for like, months.

Help! Quick! Bake!

I'm working late tonight. No big deal, except I'm expected to bring something to our local elementary school's bake sale tomorrow morning. And I'm not smart enough to surrender to Magnolia Bakery, the one right across the street from my Manhattan subway stop. Why have them save me the time and trouble when I can increase the depth of the bags under my eyes? I rather like looking like The Library Cop from Seinfeld.

So. I'm going to be up tonight baking something. Because I want Walter to grow up knowing his mother cares enough to bake the finest goods for his future elementary school's fundraiser. Despite the fact NO ONE WILL CARE. And most would probably prefer a Magnolia cupcake.

Any ideas for something quick, easy and good? Something bake sale-able. HEY-YELP!

NOTE: Thanks, everyone! I ended up making chocolate chip cookie bars. I was going to go with snickerdoodles but we were out of cinnamon. Can you believe that? Who the hell ever uses up all their cinnamon? Apparently we do. But the bars were super easy-just pour all of the cookie batter into a pan. And they were a big hit.

Martha, Martha, Martha

Thank-you ever-so-much, Martha Stewart.

You taught me how to make a pie crust that doesn't resemble a small moving box in taste and texture. Your lemon sandies are perhaps the mouthwatering-est cookie I ever ate that didn't have chocolate in it. Yes, you are the queen of things I bake. You're my mentor in the classroom of KitchenAid. My sherpa to Homemade Cracker Mountain. My guide on the broad unsalted butter highway. But until recently, I never quite trusted you for dinner.

Frankly m'dear, you had let me down. There was a curried pork thing that had an unusual amount of pepper. A honey yogurt dip for chips that shouldn't have existed, even as a condiment to fruit. And other things that were ok, but not particularly inspired.

Until this.

Spinach & Wild Mushroom Lasagna

Do yourself a favor, folks. Click on the link above and make this recipe pronto. It'll probably take an entire afternoon. You do have to wash and cook approxiamately 7 bushels of spinach and a vat of mushrooms. But oh-ho-ho-ho. It'll be worth it. And DO NOT substitute frozen spinach. Give up a few hours of sleep if you have to, but go through the trouble of using fresh. You will not be sorry.

I can't wait to make this again. It'll def be on the table for my next dinner party. Anyone wanna come over?