Labor Intensive

This was taken one week before Walter came.

I promise this blog won't turn into a constant commentary on my baby, but lots of friends, family, and complete strangers have asked me to tell them about my labor. This seems like the best place to post it.

One thing about the pain to the non-moms/moms-to-be out there. Don't be freaked. Yeah, having a baby hurts, but when you're in it, you're in it. Having a baby goes by so much more quickly than I ever imagined. You have nothing to fear. So here it goes...

My Labor With Walter

First of all, to all of you ladies who are going for your weekly OB check ups and find that you’re not very effaced or dilated, don't be discouraged. I am living proof that these updates are nuttin’, honey. I was 0% effaced and 1 cm dilated three days before my labor started, which isn't much. As you'll see from my story, that changed very quickly. And those “You’re going to have a BIG baby” comments? No one knows for sure. My guy was estimated at 8-plus pounds and came out a perfect 7 lbs, 0 oz. You just never, ever know.

That being said, I was convinced, CONVINCED that my baby was going to be at least a week late and the size of a linebacker for the Jets. The joke was on me I went into labor 9 days early.

Here’s my labor story/timeline:

4:30AM: I woke up with contractions. OK, what’s this crap about early contractions feeling like “mild” period cramps? I’ve had some doozy period cramps in my day and they are paper cuts compared to these knife wound contractions. Still, I had no bloody snow and no broken water. I thought this was Prelabor stuff and that it wouldn’t be long before they subsided and I would go on with my day.

7:30 AM: The contractions were lasting from 45 seconds to a minute with 10-15 minutes in between. I called Jennifer, my doula, and she confirmed that I was in early labor. She said I’d probably be there a while, maybe even all day, given this is my first baby. We planned on her coming over when my contractions got a little closer together, like 5-7 minutes apart.

7:30AM-1:30 PM: I labored at home. I drank lots of water to keep hydrated and ate small amounts of food to keep my energy up. I was hoping the contractions would be mild enough so that I could at least rest or even nap between them. Turns out you can’t nap when you feel like your insides are trying to fight their way out of your body and swallow your head. I found that standing with my legs shoulder-length apart and rolling my pelvis around helped, so did bouncing up and down. So did yelling things at Fred like, “GO AWAY!” and “DON’T TOUCH ME!” (This yelling at my husband signifies the well-known "sterotypical pregnant lady" stage of labor.)

1:30 -2:30PM: The contractions became more unbearable and were suddenly three minutes apart! There was no slow build-up, I went from 0 to 60 in 2.5 INSANELY PAINFUL seconds. I went to the bathroom and saw the bloody show. I called my OB and he said to come into his office.

At this point, I still didn’t believe I was gonna have this baby until September. Obviously, I was delirious.

2:30-4PM: We hailed a cab to the OB’s office and I must say, it was a bit like a movie. I’m in the backseat with Fred, huffing and puffing and moaning and groaning, and I can tell our cab driver, a handsome young black guy with long braids, was freaking out. He was so sweet, driving way more carefully than any New York City cab driver I’ve ever seen—going very slowly over bumps in the road and continually checking us in his rear view mirror.

4PM: We got to the OB’s and I was 100% effaced and 7 centimeters dilated. (Those familiar with childbirth now saying, “Wow!, those who aren't are like, “Uh...”) Needless to say, he sent me straight to the hospital. Good thing we had my bag! Jennifer met us there.

4:30PM: We arrived at the hospital. Everyone thought I’d have the baby within a couple of hours. The attending OB broke my water and that felt awesome-like a cool gush of water leaving me. Then the back labor started. That felt not so awesome- like someone was stabbing me at the base of my spine with a fiery ice pick.

6PM: Do I want an epidural? YES! YES! HELL YES! Then the heavens opened and a sweet young intern came down from above and took all the pain away. It was amazing. I love, love, love drugs.

6PM-9:30PM: Things slowed down. Maybe I could’ve had the baby sooner if I was willing to endure a drug-free labor. But I’m a girl of Modern Science. I am also a pussy. But really, I’m so glad I went for it. I'd been in active labor since 4AM and needed to rest so I could push later. I spent the next few hours chatting dreamily with Fred and Jennifer. She gave my feet and calves a lavender oil massage. (For this alone she was worth every penny!)

10PM: I’m fully dilated, but the baby hasn’t dropped much. The OB decides to let me sit and see if he comes down on his own. Jennifer helps me do “mini pushes” to get things moving.

10:30PM: Time to push. This is the “labor” part of labor. It didn’t hurt at all, but man, was it hard work and discouraging at times. At the risk of sounding crude, imagine trying to squeeze out a big poop. You push and push and are told, “That didn’t get you anywhere.” Ugh.

12:00 AM: I’m really about to give up. I want this kid out of me. Break out the vacuum, the suction cups, the surgical instruments…ANYTHING. No one seems to be paying any attention to my requests. Perhaps because they’re delivered in prehistoric grunts.

12:10 AM: I give it all I can and I don’t stop. Jennifer is encouraging me to “push from within” and somehow this helps. Just when I think I’m never gonna birth this baby, I give one more push and suddenly I hear this splashy sound, like someone just pierced a water balloon and then…a baby cry!

He’s here! He’s here! I can’t believe it! I thought I’d cry at this moment but I was way too overwhelmed. I don’t think I believed he really came out. He had a healthy cry and checked out fine. I was so beyond happy it’s hard to describe. The OB had to clean me up, (I had one 2nd degree tear), so Fred goes over to the warming table and welcomes Walter to our family. I can’t wait to hold him! When the doctor is done with me, Fred carries Walter over and Jennifer teaches me how to breast feed him. He latches on like a champ.

Now I’m crying.

The Beginning.